Enjoy these Funny Movie Quotes!
I have nipples, Greg. Could you milk me?
Jack in Meet the Parents
Here’s the deal — I’m the best there is. Plain and simple. I wake up in the morning and I piss excellence.
Ricky Bobby in Talladega Nights
She had hands as big as Andre the Giant, and she had an Adam’s apple as big as her balls.
Andy in 40 Year Old Virgin
What? You pooped in the refrigerator? And you ate the whole… wheel of cheese? How’d you do that? Heck, I’m not even mad; that’s amazing. How ’bout we get you in your p.j.’s and we hit the hay.
Ron Burgundy in Anchorman
There’s no reason to become alarmed, and we hope you’ll enjoy the rest of your flight. By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?
Stupid is as stupid does.
Forrest Gump in Forrest Gump
The first time I set eyes on Mary Swanson, I just got that old fashioned romantic feeling where I’d do anything to bone her.
Lloyd in Dumb and Dumber
When the world slips you a Jeffrey, stroke the furry wall.
Aldous Snow in Get Him to the Greek
When life gives you lemons, just say ‘F*ck the lemons,’ and bail.
Surf Teacher in Forgetting Sarah Marshall
More funny movie quotes…
When I first came here, this was all swamp. Everyone said I was daft to build a castle on a swamp, but I built in all the same, just to show them. It sank into the swamp. So I built a second one. That sank into the swamp. So I built a third. That burned down, fell over, then sank into the swamp. But the fourth one stayed up. And that’s what you’re going to get, Lad, the strongest castle in all of England.
King on the Swamp Castle in Monty Python and the Holy Grail
If I’m not back in five minutes… wait longer!
Ace Ventura: Pet Detective
When I first saw you, I thought you were handsome. Then, of course, you spoke.
As Good As It Gets
Hello Peter, whats happening? Ummm, I’m gonna need you to go ahead come in tomorrow. So if you could be here around 9 that would be great, mmmk… oh oh! and I almost forgot ahh, I’m also gonna need you to go ahead and come in on Sunday too, kay. We ahh lost some people this week and ah, we sorta need to play catch up.
Bill Lumbergh in Office Space
I happen to know everything there is to know about maple syrup! I love maple syrup. I love maple syrup on pancakes. I love it on pizza. And I take maple syrup and put a little bit in my hair when I’ve had a rough week. What do you think holds it up, slick?
Jeremy in Wedding Crashers
Still, things could be a lot worse. Oh, that’s right… I’m falling to my death. Guess they can’t.
In Kazakhstan we have many hobbies: disco dancing, archery, rape, and table tennis.
I tell you, the real winner today is the city of Portland. Every time I come here it gets harder to leave. I bet you put something to the water…
Shooter McGavin in Happy Gilmore
God, you’re gonna remember this for the rest of your life. Can’t believe you’ve never been cow tipping before.
Tommy in Tommy Boy
When my brothers and I played cowboys and Indians, I was always the Chinese railroad worker.
Sheldon in Death to Smoochy
Thoughtful quotes about life, love, and friendship. This list of thoughtful quotations from great minds such as Charles Darwin and Voltaire can teach us a lot about lives and relationships. They offer timeless advice that can be a guide and an inspiration to us all.
A man who dares to waste one hour of time has not discovered the value of life. – Charles Darwin
Believe that life is worth living and your belief will help create the fact. – William James
Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending. – Maria Robinson
There was never yet an uninteresting life. Such a thing is an impossibility. Inside of the dullest exterior there is a drama, a comedy and a tragedy. – Mark Twain
Those who are faithful know only the trivial side of love; it is the faithless who know love’s tragedies. – Oscar Wilde
Life’s not always fair. Sometimes you can get a splinter even sliding down a rainbow. – Terri Guillemets
In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on. – Robert Frost
Nothing is impossible, the word itself says “I’m possible”! – Audrey Hepburn
Live your life and forget your age. – Norman Vincent Peale
I have a simple philosophy: Fill what’s empty. Empty what’s full. Scratch where it itches. – Alice Longworth Roosevelt
Let us so live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry. – Mark Twain
Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year. No man has learned anything rightly, until he knows that every day is Doomsday. – Ralph Waldo Emerson
Be where you are; otherwise you will miss your life. – Buddha
Life begets life. Energy becomes energy. It is by spending oneself that one becomes rich. – Sarah Bernhardt
Of course there is not formula for success except, perhaps, an unconditional acceptance of life and what it brings. – Arthur Rubinstein
We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give. – Winston Churchill
Don’t care what people say
Just follow your own way
Don’t give up and lose the chance
To return to innocence – Enigma
The chance to love and be loved exists no matter where you are. – Oprah Winfrey
Love is a canvas furnished by Nature and embroidered by imagination. – Voltaire
Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope. – Maya Angelou
It would be impossible to “love” anyone or anything one knew completely. Love is directed towards what lies hidden in its object. – Paul Valéry
Love is the condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own. – Robert Heinlein
Pursue some path, however narrow and crooked, in which you can walk with love and reverence. – Henry David Thoreau
Love is much like a wild rose, beautiful and calm, but willing to draw blood in its defense. – Mark Overby
Love is an act of endless forgiveness, a tender look which becomes a habit. – Peter Ustinov
The greatest degree of inner tranquility comes from the development of love and compassion. The more we care for the happiness of others, the greater is our own sense of well-being. – Tenzin Gyatso
The language of friendship is not words but meanings. – Henry David Thoreau
Constant use will not wear ragged the fabric of friendship. – Dorothy Parker
A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your success! – Doug Larson
True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom known until it be lost. – Charles Caleb Colton
If you judge people, you have no time to love them. – Mother Teresa
Friends are the sunshine of life. – John Hay
We are keenly aware of the faults of our friends, but if they like us enough it doesn’t matter. – Mignon McLaughlin
Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with. – Mark Twain
Thank you for reading our thoughtful quotes and sayings.