You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely. – Ogden Nash

I probably don’t tell you often enough, but I treasure our friendship. Friends like you make every day special! Wishing you happiness today, tomorrow, and always!

Birthday quotes for friends

You make me chuckle when you say that you are no longer young, that you have turned twenty-four. A man is or may be young to after sixty, and not old before eighty. – Oliver Wendell Holmes

One of the signs of passing youth is the birth of a sense of fellowship with other human beings as we take our place among them. – Virginia Woolf

Happy Birthday to a true friend! You are such a special blessing to me and I want to wish you a birthday filled with love, laughter and the things you enjoy most.

Happy Birthday Messages for Friend

As you celebrate your day, I celebrate the beautiful friendship we share! Happy Birthday friend!

On your birthday, let me wish you plenty of joy, I know you’re too old, but I still bought you a toy.

Believing hear, what you deserve to hear: Your birthday as my own to me is dear…But yours gives most; for mine did only lend Me to the world; yours gave to me a friend. – Martial

Happy Birthday to the best friend I ever had. Let’s celebrate this special day of your life and party like there’s no tomorrow.

It feels amazing to have a friend like you in my life. Have a happy and fun-filled Birthday, buddy!

Old age: A great sense of calm and freedom. When the passions have relaxed their hold, you may have escaped, not from one master but from many. – Plato

I feel privileged to have spent one more year of my life with you. Wish you a very Happy Birthday!

I’m so lucky to have a special friend like you,
May all your birthday hopes and wishes come true!

Funny Birthday Quotes for Friends

Don’t worry about your future, I am sure you will have a bright one, don’t worry about the past, you can’t change it, don’t worry about the present, I have not got one for you!

Be thankful your birthday comes just once a year. Think how old you would be if it came every month.

A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday. – Erma Bombeck

Here’s the secret to look younger: Dress like a teenager with baggy, oversize clothes they will hide your baggy, oversize body.

Let us respect gray hairs, especially our own. – J. P. Sears

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Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest. – Larry Lorenzoni

Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. – Chili Davis

I still have a full deck; I just shuffle slower now. – Unknown

Funny birthday quotes

Old age is always 15 years older than I am. – Bernard Baruch

Last week the candle factory burned down. Everyone just stood around and sang Happy Birthday. – Stephen Wright

Life begins at 40 – but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times. – Helen Rowland

In childhood, we yearn to be grown-ups. In old age, we yearn to be kids. It just seems that all would be wonderful if we didn’t have to celebrate our birthdays in chronological order. – Robert Brault

Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle. – Bob Hope

People ask me what I’d most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. I tell them, a paternity suit. – George Burns

Men are like wine. Some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age. – Pope John XXIII

Birthday Quotes Funny

Why is a birthday cake the only food you can blow on and spit on and everybody rushes to get a piece? – Bobby Kelton

For all the advances in medicine, there is still no cure for the common birthday. – John Glenn

Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair. – Sam Ewing

Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children. – George Bernard Shaw

I’m sixty years of age. That’s 16 Celsius. – George Carlin

Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened. – Jennifer Yane

Just to show my dad that I think he’s number one, I bought him a urinal cake for his birthday. – Jarod Kintz

Funny Birthday Quotes for Women

Like many women my age, I am 28 years old. – Mary Schmich

The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. – Lucille Ball

The best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once. – E. Joseph Cossman

You’re not 40, you’re eighteen with 22 years experience. – Unknown

A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday but never remembers her age. – Robert Frost

Just remember, once you’re over the hill you begin to pick up speed. – Charles Schulz

Time may be a great healer, but it’s a lousy beautician. – Unknown

Time and Tide wait for no man, but time always stands still for a woman of thirty. – Robert Frost

The best birthdays of all are those that haven’t arrived yet. – Robert Orben

Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and choosing the one that’ll get you home earlier. – Dan Bennett

A well adjusted woman is one who not only knows what she wants for her birthday, but even knows what she’s going to exchange it for. – Unknown

Funny Birthday Sayings

Wisdom doesn’t necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just shows up all by itself. – Tom Wilson

Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking that in a week or two he will feel as good as ever. – Don Marquis

First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly. – Branch Rickey

I never forget my wife’s birthday. It’s usually the day after she reminds me about it. – Unknown

On my 60th birthday my wife gave me a superb birthday present. She let me win an argument. – Unknown

They say that age is all in your mind. The trick is keeping it from creeping down into your body. – Unknown

For your birthday, I got you a box. Hooray! It’s empty, so you can fill it with whatever you want.? – Jarod Kintz

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. – Groucho Marx

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Birthdays are nature’s way of telling us to eat more cake. – Unknown

Birthdays are like boogers, the more you have the harder it is to breathe.

May you live to be 100 and may the last voice you hear be mine. – Frank Sinatra

When you were born, you cried and the world rejoiced. Live your life so that when you die, the world cries and you rejoice. – Cherokee Expression

You always have such fun birthdays; you should have one every year.

Our birthdays are feathers in the broad wing of time. – Jean Paul Richter

Happy Birthday Messages for A Friend

When I am with you, life is so relaxed and easy. Laughter comes so readily and funny tales flow out so frequently. I have to catch my breath now and then and be amazed at how funny you can be! You’re the most fun and hilarious friend I’ve ever had! Wishing you absolutely the most amazing birthday ever!

And in the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years. – Abraham Lincoln

Age hasn’t spoiled you. Happy Birthday.

I wish for you to have people to love, people in your life who will care about you as much as I do. Happy birthday.

Pleased look forward, pleased to look behind, And count each birthday with a grateful mind. – Alexander Pope

Better to be over the hill than buried under it.

They didn’t have any birthday cards old enough for you even at the antique store, so I had to make my own papyrus card for you.

Have fun blowing out all the candles on your cake while you can still count them.

To think, when one is no longer young, when one is not yet old, that one is no longer young, that one is not yet old, that is perhaps something. – Samuel Beckett

Let us celebrate the occasion with wine and sweet words. – Titus Maccius Plautus

Cute Happy Birthday Messages

Nearly all the best things that came to me in life have been unexpected, unplanned by me. – Carl Sandburg

As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two – Sir Norman Wisdom

Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life. – Herbert Asquith

I don’t really have anything witty to say. So Happy Birthday!

Want to get all wild and crazy on this birthday. Rent an R rated movie, eat chocolates and popcorn and stay up late til eight. – Unknown

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The older the fiddler, the sweeter the tune. – Pope Paul VI

Hoping that your day will be as special as you are.

I’m not interested in age. People who tell me their age are silly. You’re as old as you feel. – Henri Frederic Amiel

Inspirational birthday quotes

Grow old along with me the best is yet to be. – Robert Browning

You’ll find as you grow older that you weren’t born such a great while ago after all. The time shortens up. – William Dean Howells

To know how to grow old is the master work of wisdom, and one of the most difficult chapters in the great art of living. – Henri Frederic Amiel

Inspirational Birthday Quotes for Women

Whatever with the past has gone, The best is always yet to come. – Lucy Larcom

May the years continue to be good to you. Happy Birthday!

Once I was looking through the kitchen window at dusk and I saw an old woman looking in. Suddenly the light changed and I realized that the old woman was myself. You see, it all happens on the outside; inside one doesn’t change. – Molly Keane

Because time itself is like a spiral, something special happens on your birthday each year: The same energy that God invested in you at birth is present once again. – Menachem Mendel Schneerson

With mirth and laughter let old wrinkles come. – William Shakespeare

What could be more beautiful than a dear old lady growing wise with age? Every age can be enchanting, provided you live within it. – Brigitte Bardot

Inspirational Birthday Wishes

Your best years are still ahead of you.

The day which we fear as our last is but the birthday of eternity. – Lucius Annaeus Seneca

Wishing you all the great things in life, hope this day will bring you an extra share of all that makes you happiest.

Youth is a circumstance you can’t do anything about. The trick is to grow up without getting old. – Frank Lloyd Wright

Old age is not so bad when you consider the alternatives. – Maurice Chevalier

To keep the heart unwrinkled, to be hopeful, kindly, cheerful, reverent that is to triumph over old age. – Thomas B. Aldrich

May this year bring with it all the success and fulfillment your heart desires.

A birthday is seldom, a serious occasion,
Try not to take it, like the d-day invasion.
Laughter and jokes are within sight,
Stock up on both, all through the night.

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Be Happy Quotes

If you want to be happy, be. – Leo Tolstoy

Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking. – Marcus Aurelius

Happiness is always a by-product. It is probably a matter of temperament, and for anything I know it may be glandular. But it is not something that can be demanded from life, and if you are not happy you had better stop worrying about it and see what treasures you can pluck from your own brand of unhappiness. – Robertson Davies

Nobody really cares if you’re miserable, so you might as well be happy. – Cynthia Nelms

When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us. – Helen Keller

The only way to avoid being miserable is not to have enough leisure to wonder whether you are happy or not. – George Bernard Shaw

You need to learn to be happy by nature, because you’ll seldom have the chance to be happy by circumstance. – Lavetta Sue Wegman

Lead the life that will make you kindly and friendly to everyone about you, and you will be surprised what a happy life you will lead. – Charles M. Schwab

Whoever is happy will make others happy, too. – Mark Twain

The most important thing is to enjoy your life – to be happy – it’s all that matters. – Audrey Hepburn

Dedicate yourself to the good you deserve and desire for yourself. Give yourself peace of mind. You deserve to be happy. You deserve delight. – Hannah Arendt

No longer forward nor behind
I look in hope and fear;
But grateful take the good I find,
The best of now and here. – John G. Whittier

The essence of philosophy is that a man should so live that his happiness shall depend as little as possible on external things. – Epictetus

Happy Life Quotes

Don’t waste your life in doubts and fears: spend yourself on the work before you, well assured that the right performance of this hour’s duties will be the best preparation for the hours or ages that follow it. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

A happy life is one spent in learning, earning, and yearning. – Lillian Gish

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy. – Benjamin Franklin

I’m fulfilled in what I do… I never thought that a lot of money or fine clothes-the finer things of life-would make you happy. My concept of happiness is to be filled in a spiritual sense. – Coretta Scott King

One of the secrets of a happy life is continuous small treats. – Iris Murdoch

But what is happiness except the simple harmony between a man and the life he leads? – Albert Camus

Happiness includes chiefly the idea of satisfaction after full honest effort. No one can possibly be satisfied and no one can be happy who feels that in some paramount affairs he failed to take up the challenge of life. – Arnold Bennett

Never let life’s hardships disturb you … no one can avoid problems, not even saints or sages. – Nichiren Daishonen

Imagine every day to be the last of a life surrounded with hopes, cares, anger and fear. The hours that come unexpectedly will be much the more grateful. – Horace

Funny Happy Quotes

All you may need to be happy is love, but to survive you need money! – Jason Zebehazy

As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you. – Fran Lebowitz

It’s pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness. Poverty and wealth have both failed. – Frank McKinney Hubbard

For the last few years, it’s been so chic for everybody to be miserable. Like if you’re in with the cool crowd, you can’t be happy. – Lenny Kravitz

More Happiness Quotes

People don’t notice whether it’s winter or summer when they’re happy. – Anton Chekhov

If only we’d stop trying to be happy we could have a pretty good time. – Edith Wharton

Happiness is a conscious choice, not an automatic response. – Mildred Barthel

Most people would rather be certain they’re miserable, than risk being happy. – Robert Anthony

A table, a chair, a bowl of fruit and a violin; what else does a man need to be happy? – Albert Einstein

Indeed, man wishes to be happy even when he so lives as to make happiness impossible. – St. Augustine

When we feel love and kindness toward others, it not only makes others feel loved and cared for, but it helps us also to develop inner happiness and peace. – Dalai Lama

At times in my life the only place I have been happy is when I am on stage. – Bob Dylan

Find me a man who’s interesting enough to have dinner with and I’ll be happy. – Lauren Bacall

Thanks for reading our quotes on happiness and being happy. Remember to share your own quotes in the box below. Thanks!

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Quotes about Kindness

Beginning today, treat everyone you meet as if they were going to be dead by midnight. Extend to them all the care, kindness and understanding you can muster, and do it with no thought of any reward. Your life will never be the same again. – Og Mandino

Kindness is the touch of heaven, a reminder of the covenant of the unseen. – Mark Anthony

I expect to pass through this world but once; any good thing therefore that I can do, or any kindness that I can show to any fellow creature, let me do it now; let me not defer or neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again. – Ettiene De Grellet

The test of our progress is not whether we add more to the abundance of those who have much; it is whether we provide enough for those who have too little. – Franklin D. Roosevelt

Forget injuries, never forget kindnesses. – Confucius

Constant kindness can accomplish much. As the sun makes ice melt, kindness causes misunderstanding, mistrust, and hostility to evaporate. – Albert Schweitzer

Always be a little kinder than necessary. – James M. Barrie

Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around. – Leo F. Buscaglia

Kindness is like snow – it beautifies everything it covers. – Croft M. Pentz

Kindness is more important than wisdom, and the recognition of this is the beginning of wisdom. – Theodore Isaac Rubin

A single act of kindness throws out roots in all directions, and the roots spring up and make new trees. The greatest work that kindness does to others is that it makes them kind themselves. – Amelia Earhart

You cannot do a kindness too soon, for you never know how soon it will be too late. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

I feel no need for any other faith than my faith in the kindness of human beings. I am so absorbed in the wonder of earth and the life upon it that I cannot think of heaven and angels. – Pearl S. Buck

If a man be gracious and courteous to strangers, it shows he is a citizen of the world, and that his heart is no island cut off from other lands, but a continent that joins them. – Francis Bacon

The true meaning of life is to plant trees, under whose shade you do not expect to sit. – Nelson Henderson

Kindness Quotes and Sayings

Try kindness

If what must be given is given willingly the kindness is doubled. – Syrus

Deliberately seek opportunities for kindness, sympathy, and patience. – Evelyn Underhill

Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless. – Mother Teresa

Yet do I fear thy nature; It is too full o’ the milk of human kindness. – William Shakespeare

Guard well within yourself that treasure, kindness. Know how to give without hesitation, how to lose without regret, how to acquire without meanness. – George Sand

This is my simple religion. There is no need for temples; no need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is our temple; the philosophy is kindness. – Dalai Lama

A little thought and a little kindness are often worth more than a great deal of money. – John Ruskin

Kindness can become its own motive. We are made kind by being kind. – Eric Hoffer

Kindness in words creates confidence, kindness in thinking creates profoundness, kindness in feeling creates love. – Lao Tzu

The greatest good you can do for another is not just share your riches, but to reveal to him, his own. – Benjamin Disraeli

The ideals which have lighted my way, and time after time have given me new courage to face life cheerfully, have been Kindness, Beauty, and Truth. The trite subjects of human efforts, possessions, outward success, luxury have always seemed to me contemptible. – Albert Einstein

In about the same degree as you are helpful, you will be happy. – Karl Reiland

The everyday kindness of the back roads more than makes up for the acts of greed in the headlines. – Charles Kuralt

Those who have suffered, who have known poverty or oppression, are generally the most prone to kindness. Perhaps it is well to endure some misery if only to learn this lesson. – Arthur Lynch

The first and highest law must be the love of man to man. Homo homini Deus est – this is the supreme practical maxim, this is the turning point of the world’s History. – Ludwig Feuerbach

Hope you enjoyed our selection of kindness quotes and sayings. Share your own quotes about kindness in the box below.

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Famous Positive Quotes about Life

Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it. – Ferris Bueller

The best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer someone else up. – Mark Twain

It is not length of life, but depth of life. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. – Helen Keller

All that we are is the result of what we have thought. – Buddha

The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience. – Eleanor Roosevelt

Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind. – Dr. Seuss

Dream as if you’ll live forever, live as if you’ll die today. – James Dean

This above all, to thine own self be true. – William Shakespeare

Inspirational Positive Quotes about Life

Stay positive with these great quotes

There is little difference in people, but that little difference makes a big difference. That little difference is attitude. The big difference is whether it is positive or negative. – W. Clement Stone

Excellence is not a skill. It is an attitude. – Ralph Marston

You must start with a positive attitude or you will surely end without one. – Carrie Latet

Even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there. – Will Rogers

Whenever a negative thought concerning your personal power comes to mind, deliberately voice a positive thought to cancel it out. – Norman Vincent Peale

You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream. – C. S. Lewis

As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live. – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Life is ten percent what happens to you and ninety percent how you respond to it. – Lou Holtz

All successful people men and women are big dreamers. They imagine what their future could be, ideal in every respect, and then they work every day toward their distant vision, that goal or purpose. – Brian Tracy

Whatever you think the world is withholding from you, you are withholding from the world. – Eckhart Tolle

Positive Life and Living Sayings

Believe you can and you’re half way there. – Theodore Roosevelt

I have found that if you love life, life will love you back. – Arthur Rubinstein

Think of all the beauty still left around you and be happy. – Anne Frank

Learn to enjoy every minute of your life. Be happy now. Don’t wait for something outside of yourself to make you happy in the future. Think how really precious is the time you have to spend, whether it’s at work or with your family. Every minute should be enjoyed and savored. – Earl Nightingale

Clouds come floating into my life, no longer to carry rain or usher storm, but to add color to my sunset sky. – Rabindranath Tagore

You can have anything you want if you will give up the belief that you can’t have it. – Dr. Robert Anthony

I always plucked a thistle and planted a flower where I thought a flower would grow. – Abraham Lincoln

I’ve gone through life believing in the strength and competence of others; never in my own. Now, dazzled, I discover that my capacities are real. It’s like finding a fortune in the lining of an old coat. – Joan Mills

Each person is born with a calling. It is your task to discover what that calling is and find a way to make that calling a reality. – Lucy MacDonald

Once you replace negative thoughts with positive ones, you’ll start having positive results. – Willie Nelson

Funny Positive Quotes about Life

In the game of life it’s a good idea to have a few early losses, which relieves you of the pressure of trying to maintain an undefeated season. – Bill Baughan

Most people would rather die than think; in fact, they do so. – Bertrand Russell

Life is too important to be taken seriously. – Oscar Wilde

A cloudy day is no match for a sunny disposition. – William Arthur Ward

Swallow a toad in the morning and you will encounter nothing more disgusting the rest of the day. – Nicholas Chamfort

The difference between perseverance and obstinacy is that one often comes from a strong will, and the other from a strong won’t! – Henry Ward Beecher

Life is short. Eat dessert first. – Jacques Torres

Thanks for reading. If you would like to share your own positive quotes and sayings please use the comment box below.

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May you always be happy, healthy and wealthy… so that you can take care of us when we are old!

You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake. – Bob Hope

According to Emerson, it is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them. Let’s be stupid today. Happy birthday.

No matter how old you get, I don’t think you’ll ever grow up. Happy birthday!

Happy birthday to a person who is smart, good looking, funny and reminds me a lot of myself.

Is it getting hotter in here or is it just all the candles on your cake. – Unknown

Happy birthday wishes!

All the world is birthday cake, so take a piece, but not too much. – George Harrison

Happy Bday! How old you are, I won’t ask…

Old age is like everything else. To make a success of it, you’ve got to start young. – Fred Astaire

Happy Birthday Wishes for Daughter

Wishing you miles of smiles in the coming years.

So mayst thou live, dear! many years,
In all the bliss that life endears,.. – Thomas Hood

Today is a very special day, because it is the day when I first saw my angel. May you never grow up for me! Have a lovely birthday!

May your birthday be filled with sunshine and smiles, laughter, love, and cheer.

No matter how old you are, to me you will always be my little girl. Have a great Birthday!

As parents we hope that you touch the life of thousands of other people with the same happiness, care and love that you have touched ours. Happy Birthday to the best daughter in the whole world!

The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate. – Oprah Winfrey

You are the most beautiful gift anyone has ever been gifted with. Happy Birthday to the best daughter in the whole wide world!

I hope your birthday blossoms into lots of dreams come true!

Happy Birthday Wishes for Son

Wishing you all the fun and excitement that only birthdays can bring.

Many years ago on this very day, you came into our lives and brought us happiness, joy and a lot of love. Happy Birthday to the best son in the whole wide world!

The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left. – Jerry M. Wright

With love and best wishes to a perfect son for a wonderful Birthday!

The more candles, the bigger the wish.

Best wishes on your birthday and throughout the coming year.

Having a son like you to love is the dearest blessing by far. May your Birthday be blessed with everything you dream of!

Cute Happy Birthday Wishes

It takes a long time to grow young. – Pablo Picasso

May this year be your best ever.

One today is worth two tomorrows. – Benjamin Franklin

A birthday is just the first day of another 365-day journey around the sun. Enjoy the trip. – Unknown

I’m so glad you were born, because you brighten my life and fill it with joy.

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These quotes are great to share with your boyfriend or girlfriend to let them know you’re thinking about them. These quotes can be a little corny, but that’s the point. Don’t take things too seriously, enjoy a cute quote occasionally, and most importantly, enjoy each other.

If a hug represented how much I loved you, I would hold you in my arms forever. – Mandy Hampton

Two souls with but a single thought, two hearts that beat as one. – John Keats

You cannot be lonely if you like the person you’re alone with. - Wayne W. Dyer

Don’t smother each other. No one can grow in the shade. – Leo Buscaglia

Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage. – Ambrose Bierce

I have said nothing because there is nothing I can say that would describe how I feel as perfectly as you deserve it. – Kyle Schmidt

Lust is easy. Love is hard. Like is most important. – Carl Reiner

If ever things would change and your love would fade, I’d still not break the promise I made. if you let go I’ll accept and there’s nothing I can do but I’ll be there and still love you. – Anonymous

The best thing about me is you. – Shannon Crown

I love thee, I love but thee – with a love that shall not die till the sun grows cold and the stars grow old. – William Shakespeare

Can miles truly separate you from friends… If you want to be with someone you love, aren’t you already there? – Richard Bach

Love is friendship set on the fire of passion. – Anonymous

Without a single thought, two hands collide and the world finally makes sense again. – Kayla Dawn

It is a curious thought, but it is only when you see people looking ridiculous that you realize just how much you love them. – Agatha Christie

Cute relationship quote

Cute Relationship Quotes

Women are made to be loved, not understood. – Oscar Wilde

I’ve dreamed of this a thousand times before, but in my dreams I couldn’t love you more, I will give you my heart, Until the end of time…You’re all I need, my love, my Valentine. – Martina McBride

Don’t find love, let love find you. That’s why it’s called falling in love, because you don’t force yourself to fall, you just fall. – Anonymous

Love is the enchanted dawn of every heart. – Lamartine

In dreams and in love there are no impossibilities. – Janos Arany

What the heart gives away is never gone … It is kept in the hearts of others. – Robin St. John

A man loses his sense of direction after four drinks; A woman loses hers after four kisses. – H.L. Mencken

Romance is the glamor which turns the dust of everyday life into a golden haze. – Elynor Glyn

Your words are my food, your breath my wine. You are everything to me. – Sarah Bernhardt

A man falls in love through his eyes, a woman through her ears. – Woodrow Wyatt

Life is the flower for which love is the honey. – Victor Hugo

Once I dropped a tear in the ocean. When I find it is when I’ll stop loving you. – Anonymous

Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves. – Albert Einstein

We hope you enjoyed our cute love quotes and sayings. If you’d like to share your own please leave them in the comment box below.

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Funny Relationship Quotes

When a man goes on a date he wonders if he is going to get lucky. A woman already knows. – Frederick Ryder

There is one thing I would break up over and that is if she caught me with another woman. I wouldn’t stand for that. – Steve Martin

Love is temporary insanity curable by marriage. – Ambrose Bierce

Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed. – Albert Einstein

Funny Quotes About Women

An archaeologist is best husband a woman can have: the older she gets, the more interested he is in her. – Agatha Christie

I hate housework. You make the beds, you wash the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again. – Joan Rivers

If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married. – Katharine Hepburn

I only know that people call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a doormat or a prostitute. – Rebecca West

Women should be obscene and not heard. – Groucho Marx

Last week I stated that this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister and now wish to withdraw that statement. – Mark Twain

Women: Can’t live with them, can’t bury them in the back yard without the neighbors seeing. – Sean Williamson

When women go wrong, men go right after them. – Mae West

Funny Quotes About Men

Men should be like Kleenex, soft, strong and disposable. – Cher

Men are simple things. They can survive a whole weekend with only three things: beer, boxer shorts and batteries for the remote control. – Diana Jordan

The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness and kindness, can be trained to do most things. - Jilly Cooper

Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays. – Henry Youngman

If you’ve got them by the balls their hearts and minds will follow. – John Wayne

Give a man a free hand and he’ll run it all over you. – Mae West

Funny Love & Marriage Quotes

All marriages are happy. It’s trying to live together afterwards that causes all the problems. – Shelley Winters

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. – Groucho Marx

Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel. – Leonardo Di Vinci

Trust your husband, adore your husband, and get as much as you can in your own name. – Joan Rivers

The appropriate age for marriage is around eighteen for girls and thirty-seven for men. – Aristotle

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same. – Oscar Wilde

My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you’ll be happy; if not, you’ll become a philosopher. – Socrates

I wouldn’t be caught dead marrying a woman old enough to be my wife. – Tony Curtis

In my house I’m the boss, my wife is just the decision maker. – Woody Allen

Funny Quotes About Children

There are two things in life for which we are never truly prepared: Twins. – Josh Billings

Parents are not interested in justice, they’re interested in peace and quiet. – Bill Cosby

Insanity is hereditary: You can get it from your children. – Sam Levinson

Don’t tell your kids you had an easy birth or they won’t respect you. For years I used to wake up my daughter and say, ‘Melissa you ripped me to shreds. Now go back to sleep.’. – Joan Rivers

Children really brighten up a household. They never turn the lights off.” – Ralph Bus

Children nowadays are tyrants. They contradict their parents, gobble their food and tyrannize their teachers. – Socrates

Funny Old Age Quotes

A man’s only as old as the woman he feels. – Groucho Marx

I don’t plan to grow old gracefully. I plan to have face-lifts until my ears meet. – Rita Rudner

We hope you enjoyed our funny relationship quotes and sayings. If you have a quote or saying that you would like to share please use the comment box below.

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